White, upper-middle-class assholes

It's really difficult to sound indifferent when asked why I became a strict vegetarian, or vegan. There is no soft answer. I don't want to contribute to factory farming and global warming. Sometimes it goes over just fine. People are supportive and congratulatory. Other times, not so much. I'm not trying to instigate conversation or change someone's views, but there are inevitably follow-up questions. There's one conversation in particular that had me thinking all weekend about it. I gave a somewhat extended answer to this person since it's a pretty good friend of mine. I quickly explained how I heard an interview on the radio with an author of a new book, and his argument was that being a vegetarian is the most an individual can do to fight global warming and factory farming. His first reaction was to say that he knew some vegans, friends of his, and veganism is basically a white, upper-middle-class phenomenon. He said it in a nice way, though. And after that he rattled off all the usual things to defend eating meat: What would I eat? I wouldn't feel full. Nature is brutal, as seen on the National Geographic channel. Humans are meant to eat meat, etc. These are the kinds of things I told myself if the thought of animal cruelty every crossed my mind while eating meat. We went back and forth a bit, and that was about it. He said that stuff, and I said factory farming was a new level of cruelty I couldn't support. It ended up with him admitting he wasn't sure about the whole thing, and I was very understanding.

The comment that really stuck with me was the one about veganism being a white, upper-middle-class phenomenon. Ohhhhhhhhhh, the irony. What group of people have been responsible primarily for the creation and expansion of factory farming? What group consumes the products of these farms more than any other group? What group increases demand for meat and its by-products exponentially? What group created the laws and tax incentives to encourage it? And resists any changes to the industry practices through lobbying? And buys the propaganda fed to them by the industry? Yes, white upper-middle-class people. And kinda the middle class. Ok, sorta all of America. But close enough. We have created a system and a subsequent demand for it's expansion through our lifestyles. That only strengthens the argument for veganism. Who better to change the status quo than those who created it? In fact, I think it's the only way things are going to change. Vegetarians and vegans number about 1.4% of the U.S. population. If that number were 50%, demand would be cut in half. And so on. The only thing is, I wish I thought of this irony in the moment. I think I kind of did actually. I just didn't want to point it out and come off combative, or like a white, upper-middle-class asshole. Maybe next time I won't be so reserved. Or I'll shut up a bit earlier. The choices, the choices, the choices.

6 minutes and 34 seconds changed my life

I found it. This is the exact interview I heard on NPR, November 1st 2009, that inspired me to quit eating meat and dairy, and ultimately, become a vegan. (Not the written article, but the audio that can be streamed or downloaded for free.) It's less than 7 minutes long. Whether you eat meat or not, I highly recommend listening to it. It will explain why the following quote from the end of the interview is so true.

"What we choose to eat when ordering in a restaurant, what we choose to buy at a supermarket, is, um, frankly the most important, or at least one of the most important decisions we'll make all day."
Jonathan Safran Foer

Leather & Wool

So, I partook in Black Friday by going to Express and buying 2 shirts. While I was there, I saw a jacket that looked really warm and awesome, and it was 45% off. I can't stand being cold, and I need a super-warm jacket besides my super-puffy-sleeping-bag jacket. (I know I live in L.A. but it gets cold! I wear a hat and gloves to walk my dog in the morning.) I wanted to buy it. But almost immediately I thought I couldn't buy it, because it was wool, and creating more demand for wool was supporting animal exploitation and factory farming. And then I realized, almost all of my favorite winter shirts are sweaters made of wool. And unlike eating meat, not once had I ever even considered that a wool sweater could be supporting suffering. It never crossed my mind. But now, I know I can never buy wool again. I just wouldn't feel right about it. And the same thing with leather. The same cows I no longer eat are the cows used to manufacture leather products. Now that there are so many alternatives to leather, there is no justification to supporting it any longer.

That's what I'm learning being vegan is about. Things ignored before are now brought to the forefront. It's not difficult for me to no longer consume animal by-products in their various forms, it's an awareness that my choices have an impact beyond what I had considered before. That awareness guides me to make the new choices that support my values and don't weigh down my conscience.

Thanksgiving report card

Thanksgiving was super-fun as always. I went to my aunt's house, as is tradition, and saw a random sampling of cousins, aunts, uncles and friends. Now about the feast: I found that not eating meat was the easy part. The turkey did smell good, but even seeing it come right out of the oven, golden brown, I had no craving for it. Staying away from dairy is the hard part. Not because I wanted to eat it, but because so many dishes are made with butter and cheese it's not easy to avoid. But, I think I did pretty good.

Here's what I ate:

• Snacking: Raw celery, broccoli, and radishes. And a couple beers.
  
• Crescent rolls (maybe had butter in the dough)
• Green beans (tasted like they were tossed with oil, but maybe butter)
• Cranberry-horseradish sauce (I think I'm OK here. I heard about the recipe on NPR recently and really wanted to try it)
• Mashed potatoes (Can't I fantasize there was no milk or butter to make them silky smooth?)
• Sweet potato bake crunch thing (OK, I knew there was probably some butter in this, but I ate it anyway. After dinner, I overheard the guest describe what was in it and it was almost comical how much dairy there was. "...frosted flakes on top...and there's butter and a lot of evaporated milk, and then even more butter, and cream..." My cousin who knows I was trying to be good got a good laugh out of it too.)
• My contribution: Apple pie (It was a hit. There were only a couple slices leftover. I found a place in my neighborhood that makes vegan pies, and they came through with very little notice. I highly recommend them. Sante La Brea. The pie was amazing, and I can't wait to go back and try their vegan breakfast, lunch and dinner.)

What I didn't eat:

• Dip for the raw veggies
• Appetizer mac and cheese
• Dinner's mac and cheese with bacon
• Turkey
• Gravy
• Stuffing
• Butter for the rolls
• Other pies
• Cool whip

I learned my lesson here. From now on, I really need to bring my own meal to Thanksgiving. My brother-in-law (vegetarian) cooked a pea pot pie for him and my sister to eat at their friend's Thanksgiving. I need to do something like that. I really didn't miss any of the things I didn't eat. And I would have been fine without the things I did eat. I gave myself a pass this time to do my best under the circumstances I put myself into, and I did.

Cake at work / Lost weight?

This entry is about 2 things that have nothing to do with each other, other than they both happened on the same day.

Every once in a while it's someone's birthday in our department at work, and we'll surprise them with cake. Today was one of those days. And the cake this time was a fruit tarte with custard and berries. I always loved those things. Well, I'm going to have to get used to not participating in these social eating situations. I wasn't exactly uncomfortable, but I was missing out on the communal bond of sharing with the group. And pretty much any cake is going to be inedible for me. I'm sure this is going to happen a lot in the future, in many different settings, but it wasn't a big deal. It's no different than someone opting out for being on a diet, too full, allergic, etc. But, it was new to me. Because I eat like a horse, and would always eat cake. No more!

Later on, someone who I don't run into very often at my gym mentioned that I looked slimmer. I've noticed it a little bit, too. And I'm not trying to lose weight. If anything, I've been trying to gain some weight and muscle mass. But, I think it's part of the process of switching over. I'm going to lose weight as I shed the toxins and buildup of meat and preservatives in my system. And I imagine I have to adapt to a new diet. I've read that a lot of people lose weight when they become vegetarian. I'm going to keep an eye on it, though. Right now, I like how I look. It doesn't hurt to have my muscles more cut up. When I got home from the gym today, at 9:30, it was with a big ol' veggie and black bean burrito in hand that I put away as a second dinner. I'm trying!

And for my first dinner tonight right after work, I had a couple burritos. I stir fried some veggies (bok choy, leeks, cabbage, onion) and slapped them on top of a tortilla and beans. This is the third time I've done something like this, and it's surprisingly good. And it's even easier than when I used to make it with chicken. The veggies cook faster, I don't have gross raw chicken juice mess to clean up when I'm done.

I highly recommend cooking like this as a first step. I continue to cook the same staple foods as before, only I substitute the chicken or meat with veggies. I didn't have to buy a cookbook, or plan it out for a whole day. I just put it together quickly, no stress.

Thing I've never cooked before

I like buying ingredients, and figuring out how to eat them later. I'm a pretty good cook, but there are times when cooking is utilitarian. A means to an end. Food in my mouth. And sometimes these things turn out great. Other times, not so great. But, I'll eat whatever I end up with. Because if I'm cooking, I'm hungry.

1. Sweet potato
Today, I needed to cook the thing before it went bad, and I was still a bit hungry after dinner. Let the experimenting begin! Well, I think it turned out OK. I didn't take the time to find a recipe. I just googled it on my phone to make sure it was possible to fry them in a pan. (Apparently, frying them in bacon fat is quit common. Ugh!) I cut it into slices about 1/4 inch thick, threw them in a pan with canola oil and tossed them around for a few minutes, then put them on paper towels to get off the excess oil. I ended up with these somewhat crispy, somewhat chewy strips. I salted them slightly and just ate them like that.

Not bad. And I have some leftover for a snack tomorrow. I bet they're OK cold, too. And the best thing about it is the smell. My apartment smelled fantastic after cooking them. But next time, I'm looking up a recipe. Maybe a curry or something like that to give it some spice and make them meal-worthy.

2. Tofu
I've eaten tofu many times, but never actually cooked it. I hadn't held the weird, wet square and cut into it's soft-clay like texture until last night. It's kind of strange. But, I know this is one of those things I have to integrate into my diet. Sometimes, too much tofu has pretty much made me gag. But this time, I had a tip from a friend at work on how to improve the texture. So, I sliced it up and fried it in oil in my wok til it was crispy. Then, I added the veggies.

I didn't mind the tofu at all. I'm glad, too. I would have forced myself to eat it either way for the nutritional value, but I can see with a little time I'll be able to make some rock solid meals out of the stuff. It even stood the microwave-the-leftovers-at-work test. The tofu stayed crispy, and I ate it all.

I'm enjoying trying new things. Every day I really have to pay attention to eating. I have to make sure I get enough calories, enough protein, enough fruit, etc. It's fun though. Every day is a mission to fill my stomach with as big of a variety of stuff I can. And so far, I'm doing a pretty good job, I think.

Finished the book. What now?

I finished Jonathan Safran Foer's Eating Animals yesterday. It wasn't easy. I won't go into the details, but what goes on in factory farming is even worse than what I could have imagined. Which, of course, I wasn't trying to do in the past. What's great about the book, is he's very fair. He isn't just stringing together horrific details one after another, attempting to guilt the reader into becoming a vegetarian. It's clear that he wanted to see all sides. This gives the book a legitimacy that a more extreme book may not have. I recommend it to everyone. Even those who choose to eat meat should read it, just to know what they're eating.

I never thought I'd be the person who wanted to convert people to vegetarianism. I remember thinking that it wasn't anyone's business what I ate. I had all the excuses lined up so I wouldn't have to face what I was doing. I didn't want to hear it (sound familiar?). It was denial (see my post from a couple days ago where I go into more details of my denial). But, now my eyes are opened, and it's hard to turn a blind eye to something so common in everyday life that I find so disturbing. It's in TV commercials, restaurants, lunches at work, etc. It's bizzaro world. Maybe I'll get used to it. I'm new to this. Or, maybe I won't. Maybe it'll motivate me to do everything I can to change it.

My sister has been a vegetarian for a long time, and my Mom mostly has in her adult life. I can't remember even one time where they tried to explain it to me. And, I never asked. (Deeeeeee-nial!) Now that I think about it, I don't even know why Mom is a vegetarian. Maybe to them it was so obvious why they were, so if I didn't get it I didn't get it. I wonder, would I have listened had they talked to me seriously about it? Would I have shrugged it off? Did they, and did I forget? I don't know. Maybe no matter what, I wasn't ready to make the step until now. Which brings me to this question:  

What now? I want to reach out to everyone I know, inform them, and try to change the world in whatever way I can. At the same time, I know that I would be extremely annoying if I did that and I'd have no friends. I've decided for now that I simply will answer when asked why I'm a vegetarian. But, I won't be able to live with myself if I don't have a plan in the background to advance the cause of vegetarianism and bring an end to the cruel treatment of animals. If I were a cow, I would want someone to do the same for me. So, it's coming people. I don't know what exactly is coming, but I know why.

A good cooking day

I keep cooking new stuff, and it today it was especially tasty. For breakfast I had Kashi cereal with Almond milk (unsweetened), based on a suggestion from comments on my blog. It's the first time I had almond milk, and it's delicious.

For lunch I made guacamole with 1 large avocado, garlic and lemon juice. I added half a tomato to it, and the other half to some leftover black beans. I dipped away with my organic blue corn chips. Awesome.

For dinner, I tried something new. I quartered a bag of potatoes, chopped up a red onion, threw in some pressed and whole garlic and some olive oil. I tossed it all together, put it on a baking sheet, and baked it for 30 minutes. Then I tossed green beans in olive oil, with sliced almonds. I turned out great, and I have potatoes left over for lunch or dinner tomorrow. Simple, easy and yummy.

Reflections on my denial

I'm about 2/3 of the way through Eating Animals, and a particular section about chicken processing on factory farms reminded me of an experience I had earlier this year. And it highlights the denial I was living in before I stopped eating meat.

I was walking my dog on a Sunday evening, tired, and a bright green bird caught my eye. It was lying in a back alley. At first I thought it was dead because it was lying on it's back, but then I saw it move when I got closer. My pup gave it a sniff and walked away. I took a couple steps as if to continue walking, but I turned right back around. I knew I couldn't do that. I felt bad for the little guy, and I couldn't let him suffer in pain and starve to death. I considered stomping on him right then and there to put him out of his misery. It would have been awful, and extremely difficult for me. But, he looked alive enough that maybe he just needed a vet and would be fine. I couldn't kill him. So, I gently picked him up, trying not to cause more pain or put him in shock. He still was only really moving his head and his wings a bit, but he was pecking at my fingers. The little bugger. I took this picture as I was walking back to my apartment.

No vet would even look at the bird unless I claimed it was my pet, and based on my description (I thought his leg was broken, maybe some internal damage) the tests alone were going to exceed $1,000, let alone any treatment. After hours of calling various groups I finally found a rescue organization that was willing to take him the next morning, against their rules. Valley Wildlife Rescue. Based on their advice, I did my best to give him a comfortable home for the night. I bought some birdseed at Target because it was late at this point, had a little water dish, put a heating pad under the box, and an old t-shirt to line it. Within a couple hours, he was eating and moving around the box a bit.

I drove to the rescue the next morning, and was late to work because of it. I was so thankful, and they said they'd get back to me. Well, they were optimistic in the first couple days, saying they were stopping the internal bleeding, would x-ray him once he was stable. And they asked if I would adopt him. I'm not a bird person. I had a parakeet as a kid, but that's it. I wasn't looking to have a bird cage to clean up in addition to taking care of my dog. But, something about the little guy made me want to keep him. He was a little fighter. I found him and saved him. So, I was going to keep him. Well, I got the e-mail a couple days later. After an x-ray, they saw his spine was broken, he wouldn't have a good life, and they put him down. I never thought I'd be so attached to a bird, and I was upset. I think I even cried on the way to work the next day, just thinking about him.

This brings me to my denial. How was it that the suffering of 1 bird was enough for me to put all that energy into saving him, yet I was willing to eat the flesh of animals that have suffered far worse? I even would take spiders outside after catching them, never killing them. I didn't think about it, that's how. I knew it was horrible, but I somehow kept on doing it.

In "Eating Animals" he describes chickens being grabbed by their legs and most of the time they break them. Suffering. And I've noticed, when people ask me why I went vegetarian and I answer "I'm not down with torchering animals," they always say they don't wanna know any more. They're all in denial. I'm so grateful for hearing this interview and finally snapping out of it. The book is shocking. And all my omnivore friends have a million excuses of why eating meat is OK. Interestingly, none of them are in a hurry to read the book. Otherwise, they'd have to face what I've faced. I had to look inside and really see that I was doing something I felt was wrong. I'm not a person who would support suffering of any life on this planet. And I wasn't living in a way true to my own beliefs. And that's something I strive for every day in as many ways as I can. I can only control what happens in my future, so I can't feel guilt for what I've done. I feel relieved. A burden has been lifted. I'm now more myself than I've ever been. And I've never felt better. And that's what I tell all the nay-sayers who assume I'm feeling fatigued or sickly. When they ask how I feel now, I say "I've never felt better." And I mean it.

Oops!

So, today was and is a busy day at work. Non-stop. I'm at home working (unpaid) overtime right now, only taking a break to update my blog. And for lunch I had to grab something quick and went to this fast food-ish type Greek place Daphne's with a friend. I ordered the vegetarian combo, a falafel sandwich with rice and a side salad. Perfect. Or, so I thought. I got back to my desk, and the first thing I did was slather the yogurt sauce all over my sandwich. It wasn't until my first bite I realized what I had done. Well, I ate it anyway. It was either that or lose my shit from no food. And then I saw it. The cheese on my salad. Damn! Luckily, it was mostly on this one tomato and I was able to brush it off and still eat my salad. Lesson learned. For dinner, I was in the same fast eating situation. I ordered a veggie burrito from the local Los Burritos. No cheese, (I remembered this time), and it was awesome. I love when you order a veggie burrito they throw fresh avocado and all the good veggies they charge you extra for if you get a meat burrito. Dessert? A belgian style golden ale. Mmmmmmmmmmm.

What's black and furry and likes veggies?

My dog! Even lettuce, it turns out. About a second after I took this photo, she snatched that green leaf and chomped away. I just need to follow her lead. Good girl. 

Today went really well. I started my day with toast and OJ. For lunch I made this yummy sorta-mexi-style salad with lettuce, spinach, 2 tomatoes, 2 avocados, rice, black beans, and hot sauce. Did I mention I eat a lot? I threw it all in a tupperware, shook it around, and bam. Done.

It's strange, it always seems like I made way too much food, but I end up finishing it. And then I ate those 2 mandarin oranges in the background because I read that citrus aids in the digestion of iron and other minerals. For dinner, I had asparagus, snow peas, and a mixed veggie stir fry on top of rice, with nuts sprinkled on top.

Also, I've read almost a hundred pages of Eating Animals, and I plan to finish it tonight. It's a quick read, and I can't put it down.

Parm-A-Gone

I prepared a familiar, delicious, filling dinner as soon as I got home from work: Soft Tacos. I ate soft tacos at least a few times a week in the past, and I think it'll be easy to continue doing that, vegan style. Instead of using chicken as usual, I substituted stir-fried veggies instead. And I made rice, black beans and guacamole to go with it. Yum.

As I was cleaning up, I got a knock on the door. As a thank you for giving him the last of my meat filled food, my neighbor, Jimmi James, brought me a whole bag of fresh fruit and veggies from the local farmer's market! I usually can't make it; it's on Monday mornings when I'm at work. What a thoughtful surprise!

All the support I've been getting from friends, family and and the web has been so great. It's more than I would have imagined, and it helps a lot. But anyway, he didn't leave empty-handed. The dairy products in my fridge have been extremley tempting. I had to ditch them or I was gonna crack soon. I didn't realize that it would be the dairy that would be the hardest to kick. But handing it away as I did with my meats gives it a finality to help me ignore the cravings, and accept the new way forward I've chosen. But, damn, even the parmesan had to go. Ouch.

Not Eating Dairy: FAIL! FAIL!

Yeah, double FAIL. I contemplated giving the rest of my dairy products to my neighbor today, and now I think I will. I didn't already because it's hard for me to let go. I really love milk and cheese and not eating them is really gonna suck for a while. But this morning the first thing I did was eat some cereal with the remaining milk in my fridge: FAIL!

However, I did make a new, healthy, vegan light lunch: Spinach with sunflower seeds, almond slivers, olive oil and balsamic vinegar. And a baked potato with garlic. Easy and yummy:

Did I just say "yummy"? Wow. Anyway, my next FAIL is something I think I'm going to run into a lot. I was at Cafe 50's (a diner) with a friend, and nearly everything on the menu was made with meat. And everything else had cheese. I panicked. I didn't know what to order. I was hungry. I didn't want to complain or seem weird by ordering a sandwich with nothing on it. So, I ordered a breakfast burrito with eggs and cheese (held the bacon). FAIL! I could have ordered a veggie burger, but I didn't. I need a plan for these sorts of situations or I'm sure to buckle under the pressure in the future. And I need to get over my embarrassment and do what I need to do and order what I need to order, regardless. This is harder than I thought.

Also on their menu were insanely awesome looking shakes:

 

And I was thinking to myself, "Oh shit, Wow. I can't even have shakes anymore. That really sucks." (For the record, I got this photo from Yelp. I didn't order one. But I wanted to.) On the good side, no FAIL on the meat side of things. And still no cravings for it.

Goodbye Dairy. Hello Lentils.

My plan was to still eat dairy, (I mainly consume cheese, yogurt, eggs, and milk), and phase it out at a later date. Well, that date is today's date. I was in denial. I somehow justified it. But, my brother-in-law pointed out the obvious: Dairy farms are horrendous for animals. So, I'm done with that, too.

Well, today was my first trip to the grocery store with a vegan mindset. I picked up some things I have never bought before in my life. Exhibit A:

Green and red lentils, dried edamame, beet salad mix, sunflower seeds, garbanzo beans. Of course I've eaten these things before, but never cooked them at home. Now they will be staples, I suppose.

Hmmmmmmm. I don't give a f**k about eating meat.

On Friday I emailed everyone I knew who I thought might be interested in this blog, and Facebooked it. The response was...Wow! I got a lot of support, and even more concern over my protein intake. I'm feeling really strong. I haven't had any cravings. If anything, I have more energy because I'm feeling lighter. And maybe it's a mental thing too, because I've made a decision about something that means a lot to me, and I'm sticking to it. OK, stop crying. But, my favorite response was from my best friend. He hadn't seen the blog yet, and I told him I went vegetarian. His immediate response was: "Hmmmmmmm. I don't give a f**k about eating meat." He continued to say he wanted to go veg and just hadn't gotten around to it because it wasn't convenient. There have been 2 people so far who said I've inspired them to possibly change their diet. It's an unexpected consequence of this project that makes me feel good. Ok, that's enough crying. Contain yourself.

I did this to be healthy, right?

Well, I guess this is about as healthy as Kraft Mac & Cheese can get. It did the trick for dinner. I ate another half-plate after this, by the way.

Emptied my fridge

I could have eaten meat today, but I didn't. I gave myself a pass. But I saw no reason to indulge in something I find unethical. I went to Sharky's with 2 friends from work for lunch. Instead of my usual chicken tostada salad, I got a tofu tostada salad. I couldn't finish all the tofu, and I thought I was gonna gag on it a couple times. I'm not big into tofu, and it won't be making it into my diet for 2 reasons: gag factor, and it's processed.

A small project after work was getting rid of all animal products from my apartment. And how embarrassing, it was mostly frozen. Chicken breasts, chicken empanadas, fish sticks, breaded shrimp, lasagna, organic turkey sausage, pot stickers, turkey lunch meat and tuna. I piled it on my counter and it looked like this:

Next, I gave all my meat products to my neighbor Jimmi James. He was very happy:

My last project was buying Eating Animals. It's 11:35, my order is just placed, so I just made it.

Tomorrow is my last day to splurge.

From an early age, I felt eating meat was wrong. Factory farming has especially disturbed me. But somehow, I was able to ignore this rational conclusion and go on eating meat. I would tell myself that I don't want to eat meat, but when I was hungry my animal side took over. (Interesting that my "animal" side enjoyed eating animals) At age 30, I'm making a lot of changes in my life, so it stands to reason this change happens now as well. After listening to an interview on NPR with Jonathan Safran Foer (author of Eating Animals), I knew my meat eating days were numbered. I've always loved meat: steaks, chicken, fish—I love it all. So, I'm going to document my struggles and triumphs in my new life of meatlessness.

I wanted to give myself a week of practice to see what it was like in my normal routine to change my eating habits. Well, I didn't make it 100%, but pretty darn close. On Friday night I had plans to go to a concert, and I had to stay late at work, and then traffic was horrible, and in my hurry to get home I stopped at Wendy's and got a 99 cent chicken sandwich. It was pretty damn good. Usually, I'd get a double burger, at least. But, besides that, 100%. And I think I had some shrimp stir-fry at some point. But it was healthy. I was expecting to have less energy, more cravings and fatigue. But, none of that.

So, tomorrow is my last practice day. My last day where I told myself it's forgivable to eat meat. Maybe I should eat a big-ass burger. Or splurge on a filet mignon. Or bacon wrapped dove wings stuffed with more bacon served on a bed of bacon. I don't think I will, though.

Tomorrow I WILL remember to buy the book that pushed me over the edge to vegetarianism: Eating Animals